Are you living your life or spending money to live someone elses?

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Dennise Williams


One of the critical ideas around living the Fabulous Life is asking yourself how your money is feeling.  And for many of us one of the real reasons our money is not feeling as it should and we are not living the Fabulous Life is because we are living a lie.


Our self esteem is so low that we try to live someone else’s life and spend our money in such a way that does not honour our greatness.  So we are not saving, investing or growing financially, because (a) we are not financially focused and (b) we are really financial frauds.


So, we must carefully look at the concept of self esteem as a way to determine whose financial life you are really living.  For better understanding of this topic, we turn to Elizabeth Terry, Jamaican Neuro Linguistic Programming master trainer.

Terry explains, “Every aspect of your life is influenced by your self-esteem – the friends you hang out with, the career or job you have, the amount of money you make, just about EVERYTHING! Self-esteem is the defining factor in whether or not you live the life that you want to live.


Terry notes that often people who have low self-esteem believe that they can achieve happiness by buying a bigger house, bigger car or simply by developing a better body, having a lot of money…However, according to Mi High Cheek-Sent-Mi-HIGH (Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi), author of “Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience”


“A person can make himself happy or miserable regardless of what is happening outside, just by changing the contents of consciousness”


Terry goes on to say, “So, let me be clear, what we want to achieve is HEALTHY self-esteem, where we accept life’s ups and downs, we can roll with the punches, we accept ourselves and truly believe we are doing the best we can with the resources we have, and we accept others as doing the same!


Unfortunately, many of us grow up in a trap of feeling ‘less than’ and constantly comparing ourselves to others. Essentially, we lack a sense of personal power and purpose.”


And this leads to less than fantastic financial choices which makes us financially unfocused and makes the fabulous life even further out of our reach.


See if any  of the following fits you – sometimes low self-esteem is demonstrated by:

  • Lack of social confidence
  • Depression or sadness
  • Inability to accept compliments
  • Being too self-conscious
  • Making unhealthy choices – lifestyle, partners
  • Worrying about ‘what people will say’
  • Treating yourself poorly but always willing to please others
  • Unwillingness to go after a better job, relationship or anything else for that matter
  • Manipulation of others


All is not lost however, as Terry points out, “It’s good to remember that we didn’t come into this world with low self-esteem!! We were born full of creativity, joy and wonder about ourselves and everything around us…so that means that along the way, we learnt how NOT to feel good about ourselves!”


And with that said, as always in this column, you are encouraged to reach out to a life coach who can provide you support in making the right choices and help to turn yourself around.


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