So what are you really worth? Is it the assets in the bank or is how you view yourself? Where does self worth come from? First, let us find out what may be impacting both your net worth and your self worth.
According to Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) coach Tad James, “self esteem is nothing more than how you feel about yourself. And nobody is born feeling in a certain way about themselves. We begin to learn to have self-esteem or not as a result of our environment. We are taught by mom and dad, by our relatives and friends, by our school teachers and first relationships how we are supposed to think about ourselves” James goes on to say, “there is a simple way to find out if you have low self esteem:
- Have you ever been being harshly criticized even if you absolutely performed at your best?
- Have you ever been yelled at, or even beaten?
- Have you ever been being ignored, ridiculed or teased?
- Have you been expected to be “perfect” all the time?
- Have you experienced failures in sports or school, in love or career?
- Have you ever felt like a failure relative to everyone else?
- Or constantly doubting if you can achieve anything?
- Or maybe you don’t like your looks – too fat, too slim, too short, too young, too old….
- Are you dwelling in self-pity as a shield against the world?
- Are you afraid of taking responsibility for changing your life?
- Are you being negative – nothing is good, everything is terrible?
You may have heard a friend bemoan the fact that the job market does not recognize their worth. That salaries paid are not inline with all that the individual brings to the table. And you may also feel this way. It is a very easy road to travel on. The one where you feel devalued by people and circumstances. However, is the job market really the place to determine your worth?
How about what you own, is that the measure of your worth? Is your car, your clothes, your properties and such the measure of who you are? Well, if you visit the bank and ask for a loan, that will certainly be the impression you get when you have to list you assets, income and expenses.
Or is your worth based on how you look? Is the weight a problem? Or your skin colour? Did you grow up hearing about what is no good about you? Or what about the neighbourhood in which you live? Is that where your self worth comes from?
It can be truly demoralizing to cast your eyes around and see persons who have more, do more and are more than you. Yet, the question you have to ask is what is your value?
I have read that the definition of success is freedom from fear and anxiety. I really like that. Why? Because it means I get to choose freedom and success right now by letting go of fear and anxiety. Not when I have enough money or the house on the hill. And this means that we can think differently about life experiences and how our money is feeling.
The truth is that your money is a reflection of how you see yourself. And this means you get to choose. The more you value yourself, the more great decisions you make about your money. And the more people you hang around with that make good decisions about their money which rubs off on you.
In NLP, you learn how to ask yourself the right questions and how to answer them. Yes, you are talking to yourself. You know that annoying voice in your head? Well, you can turn it into a voice of love that will help your net worth and net worthiness improve. And this is where a great coach comes in to help you remove blocks and find the path that will lead you to let go of and build self worth that will equal the net worth that you desire.