Is your money going down because you devalue yourself?

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Dennise Williams

Financial Coach

financiallyfocusedtv@gmail.com

 

Watching the evening news or reading the paper or surfing the web, you are certain to come across the daily tracking of foreign exchange.  So we tend to have a general idea of which currency is being devalued.  And strangely or not so strangely, we humans are very good at devaluating each other.  However, in my personal experience, we excel even better at devaluing ourselves.

 

And this has a direct impact on your finances and how your money is feeling.

 

If you feel trapped, worthless, and generally devalued by your environment, your associates, your family and even worse, yourself, how can you seize opportunities to improve your life?

 

There are few truths about devaluing yourself and other people that have a direct impact on your money, according to Steven Stosny, Ph.D. Steven Stosny, Ph.D.writing in Psychology Today.  These need to be cleaned up first so that your money will be in a better place.

 

  1. The whole purpose of devaluing is to make someone else’s value seem lower than your own. If it works, you’re both down; if it doesn’t, you end up lower than where you started.
  2. The impulse to devalue others always signals a diminished sense of self, as you must be in a devalued state to devalue. That’s why it’s so hard to put someone down when you feel really good (your value investment is high) and equally hard to build yourself up when you feel resentful.
  3. The great swindle of devaluing others is that it never puts you in touch with the most important things about you and, therefore, never raises your personal value.

 

Therefore, to improve your finanical situation is start feeling really good about yourself.

 

And the key to this is realizing that self value is far more financially helpful that self esteem.  Why?  Self esteem is what you think about yourself in comparison to others.  Self value is based on your behaviour.  Stosny writes, “To value something goes beyond regarding it as important; you also appreciate its qualities, while investing the time, energy, effort, and sacrifice necessary for its maintenance.  People with self-value appreciate their better qualities (while trying to improve their lesser ones) and take care of their physical and psychological health, growth, and development.”

 

So to value yourself is to say to the world that you are investing in your betterment.  You appreciate your talents, your time and your treasure.  And you are working to improve on what needs to be improved.  You are improving your value.  Just like adding a bedroom improves a house.  Just like companies seek to improve their value each year.  You are no less of an asset.

 

We acknowledge that many of us live with or work with persons who get a rush off of devaluing others and stroking their own ego.  Are you willing to take on the inner challenge of growing and glowing despite their constant and energetic attacks?

 

Can you take the blow to your own ego, your self esteem, from the negative people around you while building your self value?  One day at a time, do something that expands your skill set.  Can you also help others build their self value and create a virtuous cycle of value?  Stosny adds, “Valuing others makes self-value soar. It also carries substantial social reward; showing value tends to invoke reciprocity and cooperation, while devaluing inspires reciprocity and resistance.”

 

Now, you may need a coach or counselor to help you cope with devaluation and move to valuation.  And that’s ok.  We all need help and we all need people in our corner.  So let’s get going and build each other up.

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